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Thinking about that time I worked for a family babysitting their small child. I was just thinking of maybe confiding in then my mental illness because I hate to keep that hidden and I tend to share it earlier rather than later if I feel like maybe I can.

Anyway, the mother decided to confide in me first how they had a previous babysitter who they got along with really well until she told them she had bipolar. Then they were nervous she would be dangerous when she took care of their kid, and were relieved when she quit soon after.

Needless to say, this ended up being another mark on the page of Wait To Confide for me because uh, ablism is not fun and I don’t need it directed to me.

It makes me think sometimes. I think about stigma and ablism but I also think of my power of being able to hide it all. That I have an invisible disability. Nobody ever guesses. There has been exactly 1 person who said he'd wondered: my thesis advisor in clinical psych for my undergrad thesid because of my intensity of interest in my area of research (bipolar).


Unknown parent

silverwizard
Estimated η of arrival
Unknown parent

a self-hosted /dev/urandom
@maddiefuzz what's the estimated ETA on the PIN number being entered into the ATM machine

reshared this



Assignment 1 marks are up. If I get a weighted average of 48.6% in the coursework for the rest of the term, I get to graduate on the Dean's Honor List.


Oh. It's going to be one of those courses.
(My 76% on A1 puts me in the 90th percentile. Marker comments either don't say anything about what they were looking for or ask for things that I wrote down right next to where they commented.)


Warhammer 40°K

In the grim coldness of the far future there is barely motion




We get so caught up in the question "What if social media is bad?" we never really ask the question "What if we replaced it?"
in reply to silverwizard

I have so very much to say, ironically this is not the forum.🤔
in reply to MrCopilot

IT IS! I'M MY OWN ADMIN! If your admin complains and I'll instance block them and call them a meanie (not really)!
in reply to silverwizard

@silverwizard@convenient.em No nothing like that, but all alright a preview then.

Replacement.
Social Media did not spring forth from nothing in the recent past, for some the concept has been real for their entire lifespan. The medium changes names, ownership, format protocol, speed and reach. It is replaced, updated, augmented, or taken out back and shot in the head ( :googleplus: ) as needed.

Is there a need for replacement?

of protocol?
of format?
of owner?

or

Can existing technology be leveraged to augment and enhance the usage of social media as a valuable service and resource for the users regardless of protocol, format, owner, admin, or walled garden digital prison choices?

I say No, maybe, No, Hell No, and Yes.

since you asked.

in reply to MrCopilot

So I mean, destroying social media is a three headed snake:
Legislative
Technical
Social

We need to have the tools to build things that let us escape corporate control, we must break up monopolies, and disallow groups to force us to give up rights of intercommunication, and we must socially understand that smaller communities are ok, and the ideas of Follower Counts and Viral are toxic.

in reply to silverwizard

Globally, you are going to be, at the very best, less than effective at any legislative goal.

Technical and Social are the areas of influence that can be effectively dealt with.

"disallow groups" is already on the wrong foot.

"Not everything is for me" needs to be a fundamental understanding of every user and seems lost in all the noise of every topic.

Treading on the various rights of anyone to setup and run their own social network their own way is kinda invalidating your whole point, isn't it?

Which means no matter how much you may disagree with their format/protocol/admin/monetization/datacollection/owner you give them that right to protect yours.

And no matter how correct your interpretation of the corporate evils and privacy molesting shenanigans, they have users you will not reach that deserve fundamental aspects of social media regardless of their ill informed choices.

2 choices, compete or change everything without changing anything.

in reply to MrCopilot

I mean, disallowing certain kinds of corporate action is gonna happen

And no - part of this is dealing with the problem of allowing corporations power

in reply to silverwizard

Personally, individually we can all be whatever stripe we like. But collectively solving a global problem it is necessary to communicate without a striped agenda. Concentrate on the inarguable and the clearest elegant solution.

Participate when and where it suits your agenda, or inarguably agree & Dissent, protest and act in opposition where you must.

But reality dictates that the clearest solution does not contain critical mass
interested in tossing all of it out and starting over with an particular ideological stripe.

The quiet part is that the eventual result will be changes in ownership/format/protocol/value that financially is often detrimental to the owners of the network of users we wish to be of service and educate.

and it can stay quiet because the same is true without our action or agenda (see waaay above.) the solution entails offering a value add to these various networks, it need not be presented as a dagger, pointy though it may be.

in reply to MrCopilot

It should be clear to anyone with even a passing interest that any attempt at blanket moderation of human behavior is a fools errand.

This fact is unconcerned with scale, 1 human or a 3 million humans. If you tell them they cannot do a thing, they alone still get to decide to do or not do a thing.

In the "social media age" (Gyahh, I threw up in my mouth a bit, sorry) there is a constant struggle to decide what is and is not allowed, speech, video, image, joke, thought, etc.

And we all get it, "Have some decency damn", but some, in some areas of interest, will always have differing opinions of what is and is not acceptably decent.

Social outrage ensues to varying degrees.

in reply to MrCopilot

The idea that humans are attracted to Fiction, Horror, Crime, Conspiracy, Violence, Tribal reaffirmation and inhumanity to man is somehow treated as a new evil of the social media algorithm is ludicrous on its face.

Social virality ensues to varying degrees.

These are useful and valuable though sometimes abhorrent pieces of data that are being monetized and manipulated to what many call disastrous consequence.

And there is where we can agree, the inarguable.

in reply to MrCopilot

(Cannot believe I left SEX out of that list, I guess its true what they say about after you turn 50...)
in reply to MrCopilot

So the main objective to that is that you have to believe something to change things. You can't build a hypothetical system which pleases everyone, you gotta build something you believe is good.
in reply to silverwizard

Inarguably good, no.

Yet any statistical increase in the good from those that choose to participate is "better" than without.

The question is how small do you want that stat to be?

You can increase it without perverting the good, Without painting with a brush that is colored arguably incorrectly bad by some who you are trying to welcome and encourage to participate for the increased common good.

You just have to focus on the attractive good. The inevitable side effects to you may be that good, to others their personal benefit or flexibility or utility are the attractive "good"

Not advocating hiding the motivations. Just been around open source longer than its been called that and witnessed perfectly reasonable intelligent folks throw lifetime's of work out the window over ideological disagreements unrelated to the solution being crafted to the detriment and death of said solution.

It is an important fact to face up front, its on a list...

in reply to MrCopilot

...

No solution is perfect, everyone is flawed, you can learn something new, you can refine and even discard your beliefs, you are often wrong, mistaken, ignorant, and stubborn. Facts are integral. Your head full of jelly is completely unique, just like everybody else's, So don't get too attached to it's representation of what should be, as to what actually do be, and what can be.

in reply to MrCopilot

OK, but I don't need to not argue for it. Legislative changes are the only tools we have to cap power.

Obviously as an anarchist I would rather invidivual communities make those decisions, but at an inter-communal level you need some standards. People who build walled gardens should be left to starve in them, not allowed to push more people into them. That's just common sense. And so we must use the most pro-social sanctions to discourage them. Right now that's law.

Banning walled gardens *is* an intermediate step, and the frustrating part is that any reasonable read of antitrust laws show it's an enforcement issue, not even a legislative one!

in reply to silverwizard

The walled garden is called that because it is an attractive place to hang out. Its pleasant, undemanding, chill.

Trying to convince the folks inside it that they need to pour this gasoline on it and light it up, well it is an uphill battle.

I'm not arguing against any particular legislative action, I'm saying that actually enacting a common rule on a global scale is impossible at current global economy, geopolitical environment.

I am arguing that the cost benefit analysis says that convincing your legislative representative to cripple his donors is hard enough when he and many of his constituents and colleagues don't have an iPhone in his pocket and is Tweeting on his iPad.

in reply to MrCopilot

Sure, I agree this is an uphill battle. But I am fairly certain it's a minimum action to maintain a society. Full stop.
in reply to silverwizard

That is a very All or Nothing self defeatist attitude though.

Your progress will always be marked as not there yet or all done in a day and be completely dependent on other's action.

That is a way to go, but it sounds like a difficult recruitment speech.

What does the landscape look like along the way? What does it look like at the end? How did you help?

I don't know, I've been working on this problem for more than a decade, and I'm pretty dug in on my approach, which again, not the correct forum to get into (we'd be here for days), but I support everyone's attempts at more just and equitable world, even if I could use a few extra hands.

in reply to MrCopilot

OK, but what is your support? I believe that as long as we allow people to spend billions to control media as we know it, it's over. The whole game is over.

What other options exist?

in reply to silverwizard

The existence of liars does not invalidate the truth.

Globally, you cannot disallow people to spend their resources however they like. (Locally you may be able to enact laws)

These corporations DO exist. They are funded and can spend.

What you want is for them to spend it in ways you agree with.

and now we near going beyond what I am willing to publicly expound on at this stage.

But in a word, USERS.👥

in reply to MrCopilot

Yes, users should move, and making that easy is important, but also, we can't pretend the social media we have is a valid model.
in reply to silverwizard

That is just it, why make that judgement?

It exists.

In the future, something else will, what is important is to enshrine the necessary civic education as part of the experience no matter the medium.

Move them to where? A site deemed "better"?

I'm all for better, but even here, a noticeably better place, is a lot of the same minus some problematic bits removed (this not a criticism). So starting from an agnostic point of view would seem the sensible approach, rather than anything but what we have approach. I prefer the what we could have viewpoint

In that way, migration is not the goal or the ginormous obstacle it appears to be.

Informed choice is the goal. Not losing your workflow while navigating an ever changing digital social space is the goal. Achieving positive social change is the goal.

I don't really care how much cash Jeff and Elon have cuz it wouldn't matter if I did.

I care about their users. Not new prohibitions. Education & empowerment.

in reply to MrCopilot

Like I started with, we all ask if it's bad, and not if it should be replaced
in reply to MrCopilot

They don't actually have any power, they have users and money.

Facilitate their users but let users learn through usage that the money, content, data and power always belonged to the user.



Feeling frustration at the lack of like, care and understanding some of my family have when I interact with them.

My grandmother's funeral was supposed to be tomorrow. I foumd out 2 weeks ago from my sister. Now it's been posponed, I found out today by asking specifically the person in the know (aka my uncle)

in reply to Becky

It's a 2h drive and Sean had already taken time off work to come with me. Plus we have two littles


Was talking to an old coworker about what he's working on now over dinner today.

When I said "So you're basically building UUCP", he actually knew what I was talking about. I had thought he was younger than that.




When will covid be ovvveerr??

(I'll fight you if you tell me it's already over)

in reply to Becky

At this rate, never, we'll start celebrating the apparition of the new strain in the Fall like we used to do with the Harvest because of the regularity.
in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Words cannot express how I feel about that because like... yeah D:


I am the kind of tired where I told a person the command to run to make it work - and then didn't tell them to read the screenshot they sent me where it said what to do
Nor did I try to explain to them what went wrong

I am that kind of tired



Trying to tell people the new project is evil so giving it the CIDR of 10.66.6.0/24 for resources


I'm looking forward to giving out these mid sized tubs of cotton candy for Halloween in all sorts of different flavours. My goal is to have the best candy on the block and I hope this is what the kiddos want. I usually base it on what I'd want too, and I definitely would have been so excited by a cotton candy tub ❤️😄


In important change I'm seeing in D&D is that there's a lot more emphasis on homes and headquarters than there used to be.

I assume this is because Home Ownership is the ultimate in Fantasy Gaming these days.

Hypolite Petovan reshared this.

in reply to silverwizard

To be clear: this is to fight the term "Murder Hobo" because I think Wizards dislikes it


Three year old threw my laptop down the stairs, and the screen replacement costs more than the laptop did. And the other laptop with a broken screen I have is the same way.

Fuck.

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Someone has figured out how to not watch his favourite shows as much actually
in reply to silverwizard

For the first iPad we got my kid at around 3, we got a cover that added a couple inches to all dimensions and easily prehensile handles. I’m happy to report the iPad is still in use 5 years later.
in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Yeah, I am using a Microsoft surface tablet running stock debian and xfce as my primary computer these days because I'm Sean Howard and therefore all my decisions have to be bonkers

But I just normally don't let the kids hold it, but put videos on it while on long drives

But he found it and tossed it down the stairs - so I guess it's cover time >.<

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

@Hypolite Petovan @silverwizard Those big bright child-proof cases are fantastic. Although according to my 7 year old the primary difference between our tablet and his friend's is that ours is red and his friend's is green, and not that ours is Android and his friend's is an iPad.
in reply to Martijn Vos

Those are the most important and salient differences! Software is dumb anyway!


I was making less than 1/5 of what I make in 2022 in 2021 and spent most of the year on EI
Now that I make more, I find out there's a maximum EI payment and the wealthy don't pay into EI (meaningfully) in Ontario, and I have been enraged

I could have been struggling way less!





I don't mind paying my taxes when the poor can't. But I do mind paying my taxes when the rich won't.

(Nitter addon enabled: Twitter links via https://nitter.net)



Anti-climax in tabletop RPGs is a really weird story moment - because it's usually an incredibly different story moment and table moment

I dunno - I'm tired as shit



I just excitedly ran across the house with pizza dough "Shæ Shæ remember how I said there was a plant that spit out air to make it pump up like a ball! Look!"

And that is my parenting style




Experimenting with a system:
I am currently *super* happy at my job - so trying to actively recommend someone I know is currently under/un employed when I recruiter reaches out to me directly.

Not sure if it's gonna work - but I hope.

in reply to silverwizard

I mean, you're making the recruiter's job easier by bringing potential candidates that are likely to be better vetted than what they could do from LinkedIn only.


Where do people buy screws for HDDs?

Last time I did this I took apart a broken laptop and stole the screws

in reply to silverwizard

boltdepot.com/


The best part of the Tablet as a device type is that I can bring my TV with me between the glue gun and the soldering iron


I am looking to do the stunt where you buy chocolate bars the size of your arm as Halloween candy - but I am looking to not buy chocolate for reasons of chocolate is a conflict good.

Was thinking a small tub of cotton candy - anything else work better?



Started Strattera (nonstimulant adhd med) a few weeks ago and finally starting to process the world around me is an interesting thing. I never knew what it was like to not have my thoughts all like a jumbled mess before and today I'm starting to actually be able to think about situations from a perspective that isn't immediate and I gotta say... it feels very unusual but quite nice and the more I get used to it the more I like being able to think clearly.

I've been anxious to talk about it because I don’t have the formal dx and so I still feel unsure claiming it as my space too, but the medication is certainly not doing nothing





(Nitter addon enabled: Twitter links via https://nitter.net)

reshared this



My son talks about the cakes @FireflyLeigh and I made him for his 2nd and 3rd birthdays a lot

And the fact that he's talked about a cake for over a year *at three years old* makes my heart burst with joy that we can make him happy like that


(Nitter addon enabled: Twitter links via https://nitter.net)




Place a bid for 25 HDD sleds - so I guess I'm all in on this
in reply to Becky

Well, right now- at this moment, one is all that I need to do what I am doing - but I currently have 6 in my server, and 1 about to go in, and need another to put that in, and then I have slots for up to 8 more, and if I put a second server into commission, then I could use 16 more, so I could use up to 25 more, and 25 more for cheap is a reasonable thing to bid on

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Now you can mute my twitter again! And we can pretend I don't keep using the twitter interface due to having too many DMs

Partially because DMs are one of the worst things - and I really should setup MOVIM and force my friends to use XMPP



Are we reentering the "MongoDB is good" side of the popular-but-idiotic loop of software ideas?


So my dad is probably going to be homeless soon. He's very paranoid (in the clinical sense) and won't let us help him and is afraid I'm going to kidnap him if I ever drive even somewhat close to city edges of the place he lives. He won't even tell us what's going on, I found out thru other means

I don’t even know what to do. I'm so scared I'm going to wake up one day and he'll have disappeared into oblivion and I'll have no way to find him, because it's already a challenge to find him

The only other people who care are just as powerless as me & Sean: my sister and his brother

My grandmother spent actual years fueling his paranoia about all of us and this is where it's led and it's hard not to be upset about it, even though she's gone now

I just don’t even know what to do

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Thanks

Yeah, that makes sense, although she was as much affected as he was. I think I'll need to spend some time working thru my feelings around it. I'm one of those, find solace in myself in forgiveness in others types

in reply to Becky

I should say, I know it's not like that for everyone, but forgiveness does work for me.

I'd never push other people it. I understand other people's journeys are their own. I'm not going to preach it. It works differently and some people do some pretty awful things that don't warrent that kind of response.

I'm not about to forgive the various organizations and people that took advantage of my grandmother in her later years, for example.. but I might need to forgive her for my own peace. I might not, we'll see. I'm still working thru it



Okay, it's been about a week since I made some intense connections between some of my past traumas and while I don’t feel like all my weird stressors around everything that changed are gone, I feel like that sense of connection and contentment within myself for myself has returned, so that's extremely encouraging.

It was an incredibly rough month beforehand, so I'm extremely grateful to be internally more peaceful and not so turbulent

One thing I feel like I know know about trauma recovery is that it really gets to the worst point right before it turns around



I think I have enough ram to play Star Trek A Final Unity again!


The worst part of Google stadia shutting down is that there's no shonky hardware flooding the market and letting me buy something weird and cool and seeing what I can do with it
in reply to MrCopilot

also I promise it isn't the worst thing about it shutting down.
in reply to MrCopilot

Yeah - but they're both useful without, and so not flooding the market

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Status

Hypolite Petovan is sharing with you
Network type: friendica
Last update: Tue, 27 Sep 2022, 2:32 AM (Update was successful)

Hmmmm- lemme unfollow and refollow

in reply to silverwizard

Status

Hypolite Petovan is sharing with you
Network type: friendica
Last update: Fri, 30 Sep 2022, 4:09 PM (Update was successful)

Maybe do the same?

in reply to silverwizard

This is perfect, there's no backing up in the thousands like we've witnessed on larger nodes which affected message delivery.
in reply to silverwizard

On my node, it doesn't say that I'm sharing with you 🤷‍♂️
in reply to Hypolite Petovan

I don't see any skew of you trying and failing, but I see:
2022-09-30T17:12:15Z worker [INFO]: Relayed data {"msg":{"author":"hypolite@friendica.mrpetovan.com","guid":"735a2029-3963-3723-423c-e51535438729","created_at":"2022-09-30T17:11:30Z","edited_at":"2022-09-30T17:11:30Z","parent_guid":"2c704a81-3663-3703-eb32-03c816664782","text":"@{silverwizard; silverwizard@convenient.email} On my node, it doesn't say that I'm sharing with you
🤷‍♂️","author_signature":"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","thread_parent_guid":"2c704a81-1863-3721-a8a3-d0a796172552","parent_author_signature":"TxqJWIWaNUvdH4l448LKJzszxiyb8WDkOG0fFRrLG7YKXfTPnqAj7iwiFXfhqsL0eEtfBjcB6eesug4EIbhGp5FmKhfJJ6yt76vw1koRVaNmrgpZqjYB4sapiv93dn8IbN2BJ4FMCwxuVcsPDEY5Ih6ARRVaRHbf85OY0R36izGg4HbH6FvdK/HmJ+ubr3RAOZY8vsKlt8UH3RLCW9FgNWZMJ06n4dTp74CV5+6jcbwOG0N3iHY+aKwGH92Kz8VgHg5sDT82GB+bIfcv1/i+E3745qhiEy+qK9Zo1i88npiEIHuwX5VurZw5iHOoWnZRPxryxWV5HXcffU0eniPaGVUYSV2wY0WvIiqM5luPjuDJzSaaCdDPP+BnDQP6KgO7KVD/ceuVBUa2cBJcp7PXRAJddMIHZV+oudYrAm+VMRSxeT+CYmSfjflKviq9MCmOYqSdITn+o6b3VGOw8Lm4+762sB0X7G5mhBHcKdh4bJ1QXnA3UqNyQU+bpLWo7TW0HVy55qRGorPzS4MiV6CTujhxpF1LATo3n94yXY5PpZxltabqRwBivb9VsrcZyQjct3QYKhy0qJod/aLJada8CpF12ibCgh0wKzxk6WzgJiEX+xSZYcgMOPMSmbcKy4z6maB6aqczOdN+mCitW1RzKMbHMjLVybUW/Bte6A5JCsE="},"worker_id":"a763d8d","worker_cmd":"Delivery"} - {"file":"Diaspora.php","line":3807,"function":"sendRelay","uid":"3aa5a2","process_id":19818}


Maybe unshare with me, give it a beat, and reshare? Force kickoff the worked queue before refollowing?

in reply to Hypolite Petovan

Let's never find out what went wrong! that seems really hard!

to be fair - a little bit back my DB and backup crapped themselves and so I had to stitch the DB back together by hand - so it probably was caused by that

in reply to silverwizard

Ugh, it's doing this thing where it says that I unfollowed you successfully but the contact page keeps saying you're sharing with me, then the worker task comes for the cleanup, deletes the contact, and then you're assigned a new contact ID with a page that I still says I'm following you but I'm given the option to follow you. 😵


NetBSD wouldn't boot on my MacBook - it can start but then doesn't drop to a login prompt, shell, or startup wrapper - so I guess I'm back to figuring out what NetBSD is


An RPG called Going Broke Together where you put 100 golden d6s in a bowl. Whenever there's a problem roll some and throw them in a dirty pail. Any die that comes up a 6 makes one good thing happen.

Players are encouraged to keep fights about remaining dice in character.



By default LibreWolf bans autoplaying media - and that's great

But it means that if I turn on a playlist to listen to, I have to hit play again after every song, or disable it - and I don't know how to manage the middle ground!

Unknown parent

silverwizard

Oh! Wait! Shit!?

Thanks!

Unknown parent

silverwizard
Success! No wonder I couldn't find the right knob in settings!