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my serious thoughts on moderation and stuff is this: I've done it a lot in the past, I've done the being very reasonable bit and trying hard to be fair bit and the responding graciously to (typically) cis men patronising or insulting me while believing they are respectful, or thinking they can debate their way out of a ban. And what I learned is, sometimes, you just need to take the piss. Often, it means they skip the debate part and go straight to insulting you, and at least that's more honest
in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

Coming back to this, I think another problem is that some people are expecting Twitter style extensive rules moderation on every server, whereas on here some instances are literally for individuals or a small group of friends, so their approach is going to be different. Their priority is keeping their space safe, not opening it up to loads of people. They are under no obligation to participate in these big discussions about what is fair or not to moderate.
in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

This also means their style may be different - they aren't having to answer to 30K members who they don't know. They know everyone on their server, who has usually been vetted or personally invited before they've joined.

They are under no obligation to behave in a certain way, for instance, not make jokes about topics like this. Or not laugh at getting silly reports.

in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

And if you're a good moderator/admin, you will usually be able to see past some jokes to their point.

Joking about unpopular opinions was making a specific point about the idea that you should be able to discuss topics like, trans rights say, where you can voice an objectionable opinion, but if you are "civil", it's fine. This is a terrible idea, and those of us who have been around the internet long enough or on the receiving end of polite bile know this

in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

Ultimately, one issue that some people have on here is that groups who have typically had less power in society and have had a lot of abuse online, have created their own spaces. And they can say no, get fucked, with no higher moderator to appeal to. And certain cis dudes who think they should have the right to not only say whatever they like, but force those very groups to listen to them, really, *really* don't like that.
in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

this is true although I think there is some very limited, genuine risk of well-meaning moderators screaming "ahh! Nazis" and defederating just because the mods on that instance are a bit new, or it's 4am where they are, or something.
in reply to Fish Id Wardrobe

convenient.email/friendica
My list of blocked servers is pretty short. On purpose.

But there's a damn good reason my most common reason is "fuck 'em" - it's because usually *I'm* tired, and just don't wanna deal with someone's shit.

And sure - maybe "Mods are asleep" - but fundamentally - my moderation practices are what brings me joy. And often ban hammering an instance is more fun than talking to people who sometimes turn out to be racists and transphobes.

in reply to silverwizard

@silverwizard Well I think there is a whole mess of difference between the instances I personally block, and the ones my instance mods block. I don't think the former is a problem ever.
in reply to Fish Id Wardrobe

To be clear here: These are server level blocks of servers. I am defederating
in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

Exactly! They say they want free speech, but what they really want is forced listening.
in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

Reddit is totally fucked in so many ways but the one thing I think they really got right was to be a platform of communities instead of a platform of users, and then allow the communities to self-govern with near-total freedom. It’s really cool to see the same principle extrapolated to a decentralized social network.

And yeah, the people most vocally opposed to this structure are usually the people you don’t want around anyway.

in reply to masto certified hot wife 🧿

That is the strength of Mastodon over other social media. And it is not vulnerable to some super-rich Neo-Nazi buying the place and inviting all the hate mongers to party ( like that could happen, right?)
Unknown parent

masto certified hot wife 🧿
@Rhodium103 Exactly. A lot of this is about some instances objecting to other instances defederating from them. But if I have an instance for pals, why do I need to federate with everyone anyway? if my pals are getting trouble from some specific instances, why bother trying to debate this shit
Unknown parent

Ubiquitous Photon

@drandrewv2 @Rhodium103

But then even back then we had people attempting to take over forums and control the 'narrative' as it were, as well as hounding out people they found 'undesirable'. Your comments have me thinking that this kind of attempted control on group think does seem to be a human thing. Its almost certainly the thing that drove me from Facebook, and its illustrated most beautifully on there and NextDoor.

Ironically, in the evolution of human social (...)

Unknown parent

Aphrodite ☑️ :boost_ok:

@bloonface
so i often play the childlike naïf as a way of handling the fact that, whether cognizant of their true intent or no, all these liberty deniers want is to do exactly that: deny others liberty.

the naïf thing is also a way to turn ragebaiters angy. they want me to be angry so they feel smug. instead i go, “i don’t get it why do you choose to do this” with as much genuine curiosity and no other emotions as possible because i want to know. their brains bluescreen.

Unknown parent

Aphrodite ☑️ :boost_ok:

@bloonface

Not gonna lie and claim seeing their reactions isn’t entertaining, but that’s actually not my primary objective.

I engage in derad as a hobby. (Until I get paid for it, it’s a hobby. Admittedly my hobbies are weird.)

Only way to break through radicalization is one on one and defying expectations in actions, not words.

When it works it’s amazing but it’s also a commitment in time and energy.