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Adding a .php-info.php to my webserver, but it's just an incorrect static page

Just to annoy people
It works best if you don't have PHP at all :D
Yes, our locally patched build of PHP really does have a version number that's 8 kilobytes long and contains valid amd64 instructions, why do you ask?
That just seems natural. It also contains javascript to make it not display if a human reads it, why do you ask?