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Do you think I can crack my USB bluetooth dongle open and find some contacts to alligator clip an antenna to?
No. You'd also probably need to disconnect the PCB antenna for it to work.

@christian mock That's a good point
Considering the dongle is small enough I worry I'd lose it if I drop it, I probably shouldn't


BUUUUUUUT if I go to the bathroom, my headphones become inconsistent!

That's a shitty situation!

Maybe you can find some other BT dongle that has an external antenna?

@christian mock the issue there is that it would then cost me money, and take work that wasn't "stupid electronics hacks"