I think I had a bit of an epiphany whilst slogging through the grocery store today in regards to my mental approach to food.

I realized that it's the planning, shopping, and preparation that I detest about cooking and eating healthy (since you can't trust any restaurants these days). I'm a procrastinator for one thing, but I also prefer spontaneity when it comes to the experience of enjoying the food I eat. I enjoy the experience of eating a specific food at a specific time and place. I'm one of those people that is like, "hmmm, I'm hungry for X so I'm going to go someplace to get it hot and ready." But once I'm done with that, I don't really want to eat it again for who knows how long, which is why I don't keep leftovers.

Every nutritionist has talked about planning out a week's worth of meals and how "easy" that makes things because you just have one cooking day and then you can eat that food over several days. But that's not a selling point for me; I don't want to eat tomorrow what I had today. I want variety, but I don't know when I'm going to want something specific, and telling me what's coming up just sort of makes me resent it, I guess.

Oof, this is a big psychological block I'm going to have to work through, I think.