enthusiastic rookie estate agent jonathan harker: boy, this is gonna be a really big deal for me. just got to sell this great waterfront property to count dracula. this could really kick start my estate agent career. (later) boss i really messed this one up about as much as it is possible to do!!!
(removal guys): do you want us to pack that big clock with the human skull on it that the skeleton pops out of, count dracula (dracula): no just the soil please
british gas: good evening, this is the british gas customer help line dracula: at last, i'm... BG: please key in your customer number or hold to speak to an advisor dracula: *sigh* BG: all our advisors are busy, did you know you can access British Gas via our website igor: do you want a cup of tea maarster dracula: go on then
british gas: hello, this is sandy. may i take your customer reference number? dracula: i'm a new customer. i've just moved to whitby. can i give you a meter reading. sandy: certainly. can i first take some customer details. what is your name? dracula: count dracula sandy: thank you mr dracula. and your date of birth? dracula, no it's count dracula. sandy: mr count dracula dracula: *swearing in hungarian* sandy: sorry i didn't catch that mr count dracula
imagine being a normal estate agent and one day you come into work and your boss, also a normal estate agent, is like tee hee hee hee, i am sending you to meet a most special client, hee hee hee, in transylvania, hee hee hee, ohhhh!!!
(dracula checking his house move checklist) coffin full of dirt, coffin full of dirt. dirt coffin... coffin full of dirt. all ten coffins, full to the brim with dirt. now what am i forgetting? oh yes! 😅 me! (climbs into one of the dirt coffins and closes it) (muffled voice) hit it, horses
harker: (on the phone) this guy is really frickin weird. hows things back there? estate agent colleague: not great. renfield bit a horse. harker: he bit a horse? colleague: yeah
alex
in reply to alex • • •alex
in reply to alex • • •(later)
boss i really messed this one up about as much as it is possible to do!!!
Sid🇵🇸 reshared this.
alex
in reply to alex • • •alex
in reply to alex • • •alex
in reply to alex • • •(dracula): no just the soil please
Angela Glansbury 🚽
in reply to alex • • •dracula: at last, i'm...
BG: please key in your customer number or hold to speak to an advisor
dracula: *sigh*
BG: all our advisors are busy, did you know you can access British Gas via our website
igor: do you want a cup of tea maarster
dracula: go on then
Angela Glansbury 🚽
in reply to Angela Glansbury 🚽 • • •dracula: i'm a new customer. i've just moved to whitby. can i give you a meter reading.
sandy: certainly. can i first take some customer details. what is your name?
dracula: count dracula
sandy: thank you mr dracula. and your date of birth?
dracula, no it's count dracula.
sandy: mr count dracula
dracula: *swearing in hungarian*
sandy: sorry i didn't catch that mr count dracula
alex
in reply to alex • • •alex
in reply to alex • • •Sid🇵🇸 reshared this.
alex
in reply to alex • • •Sid🇵🇸 reshared this.
alex
in reply to alex • • •estate agent colleague: not great. renfield bit a horse.
harker: he bit a horse?
colleague: yeah
alex
in reply to alex • • •unlofl [Promoted Toot]
in reply to alex • • •Peeking out of the coffin more than 12 hours later.
"...Its dark, fucking finally! It was labeled 'basement!' 'Basement' right on the side, and they just dropped me in the damn living room!"
silverwizard
in reply to alex • •One coffin full of dirt! Ha Ha Ha
Two! Coffin full of dirt! Ha Ha Ha
like this
alex, WearyBonnie and jay 🌺 like this.
Em
in reply to alex • • •alex
in reply to Em • • •