I feel like I disengage with all forms of connection when I am doing this badly. It's just really hard to reach out and put the energy into caring about others (outside of avery limited number of people). Usually I thrive on putting that kind of energy out there, but now it's hard. I'll go weeks without wanting to open up (I mean, what is there to say even?)... I've been like this for a long time, but I'm also wondering about what is actually a healthy and productive way of coping. Is cutting social connection out like that a good way to cope, as long as I still keep a few people in? It's a lot harder to have a perspective on what is okay when it's happening to you. I mean, all that said, I ultimately don't want anyone to worry about me either - it'll all be different in May anyway, just holding onto that future...