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One thing I realized today is that when I had Shæ I became a dad.
And in becoming a dad, became a completely new person.
When I had Rowan, I just became a father of two.

And I think my relationship with Rowan suffers because of that, and I wish I could figure it all out.
Shæ changed me, profoundly, and some of the joy of that change filtered onto Shæ

When Rowan is maybe 8 months I'll see how that relationship grows, but I think it's a thing I need to engage constantly